"What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

"Build contempt for contempt."

"Sacrifice has taken on such negative connotations that people fear being a'" codependent" more than they fear being perceived as selfish."

"Christian love must be chased after, aspired to, and practiced."

"God planted marriage among humans as yet another signpost pointing to his own eternal, spiritual existence....what makes the marriages of believers different from the marriages of unbelievers..is in the preeminent marital analogy of Christ and his church."

"Any situation that calls me to confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual value, and I slowly began to understand that the real purpose of marriage may not be happiness as much as it is holiness."

-- Gary Thomas Sacred Marriage

"If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become the bigger and better man." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Free Will?

"Philosophy and religion both discard at once the very thought of free-will; and I will go as far as Martin Luther, in that strong assertion of his, where he says, "If any man doth ascribe aught of salvation, even the very least, to the free-will of man, he knoweth nothing of grace, and he hath not learnt Jesus Christ aright." It may seem a harsh sentiment; but he who in his soul believes that man does of his own free-will turn to God, cannot have been taught of God, for that is one of the first principles taught us when God begins with us, that we have neither will nor power, but that he gives both; that he is "Alpha and Omega" in the salvation of men."
--- Charles H. Spurgeon

http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/0052.htm

It's obvious to all of us that we as humans do have the capacity to choose right from wrong. The child can choose whether to put their hand in the forbidden cookie jar, the teenager can choose whether to join the wrong crowd, the adult can choose whether to defraud the company.
This type of free-will is not what I am arguing against. However, the free-will taught by the modern North American church today will not be found in Scripture.
If you were to join a group of Christians after church and boldly state that you do not believe we have free-will, you would discover just how quickly and heatedly they would disagree with you. For some reason, most Christians are quick to jump to the defense of our "right to choose", as if it is some terribly important doctrine. Sadly, they are way less likely to defend the right of God to be glorified; let alone verify if Scripture supports their viewpoint.
The fact of that matter is, as Spuregon so eloquently lays out for us, Scripture doesn't teach the same concept of free-will as we know it today. In Christian circles most would define free-will as the ability to choose whether to accept Christ ( salvation) or not. They are adamant that all humans have the capacity and ability to open their heart to Christ or reject Him.
The problem with this viewpoint is it goes against both observation and the clear teaching of Scripture. Even in my limited experience and observation of humans I see how salvation is supernatural and only the result of God's work in a person's heart.
What makes someone bent on suicide suddenly do a 180 and pursue God while loving life? Why would a young man content in the world of drugs, alcohol, and pretty women all at once find that turn to discontent? What would send him searching, confused, restless, unhappy, until at last what he has read over and over again suddenly makes sense and causes him to turn to God in repentence and belief?What would cause a woman deep into Satanism to turn from it in revulsion and embrace Christianity, bringing her children up in it's truth? Why would a man convinced Christ was a fake almost overnight change his mind, and worship Jesus as the God He is? What could change a devout and passionate Muslim into a young man who risks his life and liberty for the cause of Christ?
All of these instances are true, I know them all personally. There is nothing in and of themselves, that could explain their radical transformation. Blindly going on in their own paths , they were happy to live life as they pleased , without regard for God. It was only due to the work of the Holy Spirit in their heart, that they were changed. To God goes the glory for the transformation in their lives.
I would encourage you to study the Scripture yourself. What does it really teach us about the will of man? Romans tells us that we are slaves to sin, and Ephesians teaches we are spiritually dead.
Maybe that will which you so proudly call free, isn't really as free from sin as you would like to think.

Quotes to Ponder

"I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficent for that day." - Abraham Lincoln

"Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today." - Abraham Lincoln

"Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom." - Charles Spurgeon

"Fiery trials make golden Christians." - Charles Spurgeon

"One of the most important discoveries I have ever made is this truth: God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him. This is the motor that drives my ministry as a pastor. It affects everything I do." - John Piper

" The Spirit of Christ is the spirit of missions. The nearer we get to Him, the more intensely missionary we become." - Henry Martyn

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

"Any chuch that is not seriously involved in helping fulfill the Great Commission has forfeited its biblical right to exist." - Oswald Smith